BUT OFFICER.....
 
     When police ask people involved in auto collisions to describe the events
in their own words, the descriptions often make it clear the accidents were at
least mysteriously unavoidable and at most acts of God. Some actual examples
from police files:
 
     "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I
didn't have."
     "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of it's
intentions."
     "I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my hand
throught it."
     "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."
     "A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face."
     "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
     "The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of times
before I hit him."
     "I pulled away from the side fo the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and
headed over the embankment."
     "The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside.  He then went to rest
in the bush with just his rear end showing."
     "In my attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole."
     "I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my car became squashed."
     "I had been shopping for plants all day and was on ny way home.  As I
reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision.  I did not
see the other car."
     "I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel
and had the accident."
     "The accident occurred when I wqas attempting to bring ny car out of a
skid by steering it into another vehicle."
     "The other car attempted to cut in front of me so I, with my right
front bumper, removed his left rear tail light."
     "I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to
what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going
the opposite way."
     "I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was
struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several
times before."
     "I was taking my canary to the hospital.  It got loose in the car and
flew out the window.  The next thing I saw was his rear end and there was
a crash."
     "I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
joint gave way causing me to have and accident."
     "As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a
place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.  I was unable to stop
in time to avoid the accident."
     "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian."
     "My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
     "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished."
     "I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat I found
that I had fractured my skull."
     "I was sure that old fellow would never make it to the other side of the
roadway when I struck him."
     "When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed
into the other car."
     "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go so I ran over him."